In a commitment to showing up - more often & more authentically - in this space, I am claiming the mantra "done is better than perfect." Otherwise, I know I'll never get around to these little ol blogs!
So I will get right into it. Motherhood is crazy. It's amazing. It's all I've ever wanted. It's hard. It's ultimately a BLESSING. (I really can't say that last statement enough.) But, something I struggled with more than I was prepared for right after having Wylden was maintaining a positive mental body image. How I felt about my body & the way I looked in the mirror & the way I fit into my clothes was something close to hostile in those first few months.
Does this sound so shallow? I'm okay with that because I want to keep it real & raw with ya'll. In hopes it might encourage someone & because I believe transparency is a good part of the healing process.
How I Felt:
Unattractive. Insecure. Discouraged. Fat. (I hate that word, just being so real.) Disconnected from my body. Discontent. Bleh. Sad. Frustrated.
The Truth I Claimed:
My body can do incredible things. I am healthy & strong. Pregnancy, labor, & delivery and all its effects on my body are worth the BLESSING that comes as a result. Progress over perfection. I am body AND soul. It is okay to wrestle with this & I don't have to pretend I'm totally cool with everything right now. Peace comes with surrender. My worth is not a sum of what I look like or what I think other people think about the way I look. (luhlz) I have been designed, fearfully & wonderfully, by a wildly creative Artist. My life here on earth (& my body) are not meant to be preserved & saved, but to be spent & given in the midst of the pursuit of Christ on this earth.
The JOY of motherhood is real. (It's actually kinda crazy amazing.) But it often doesn't come without some other yucky feelings, too. If you are a first time mama, I am all about setting goals, but give yourself grace & hold your expectations lightly postpartum - it is a journey that looks SO different for every one.
If you're reading this and you too have wrestled with maintaining a positive body image, mama or not, I hope you'll confide all those feelings in someone you trust. Be encouraged, you are not alone, & the truth you claim is greater than the worst of feelings you might have on hard days.
Your body is unique. Capable of incredible things. Worth protecting. Worth feeding. Worth moving. Your body is beautiful.
& so is mine.
I'm so thankful to have photos from this season, even though I wasn't feeling very positive about my body at the time. A big thanks to our friend Carrie Jo (Texture Photo) who has captured many of our most meaningful moments! They are SO special to me!