Are Social Connections on Instagram Shallow? | August Social Media Detox Week 3

3 Weeks off of Social Media

I have been off of social media, mainly Instagram, for 3 weeks now and I am continuing to collect my thoughts on the pros and cons of using this app and how it impacts my life.

It hit me this week that I really do miss the social connection that I previously had through Instagram. 

I have said in the past that if I didn’t have to use social media for my business, I don’t think I would use it at all. But, this past week I have felt more aware of all the personal things I enjoy about sharing my life with others via Instagram and the ways I enjoy seeing what others are sharing, too. 

I find this interesting because I don’t feel at a loss for deep and meaningful relationships outside of social media. I feel REALLY thankful for the depth of friendship that I have with my family, my friends, my Bible study small group, a little virtual Bible study I am a part of with some friends from Florida, and other meaningful relationships.

I figured I wouldn’t miss the social connection that Instagram provides when I have really incredible friendships outside of it. Friends that I can talk honestly with, friends that have prayed for me in difficult times, friends that have literally met physical needs for my family & I, friends that provide counsel and advice and encouragement, friends that I laugh out loud with, friends that I hug in person, and friends that I Marco Polo with regularly. (Marco Polo is my favorite “social” app that you can use to record and send videos to friends. Like FaceTime, but a recording that can be watched at any time.)

But even with those incredible friendships, I do miss the social interaction I had through Instagram. The DMs and the comments. Why is that, I wonder? If I have all that I need and more right around me.

I’m still processing my thoughts, but if I could liken it to a physical, real-life example, I would compare it to sitting on my front porch and chatting with a neighbor as they walk by on the street. The neighbor may not be someone that knows me intimately & we may not pursue any deeper connection or time spent with each other outside of that brief conversation as they pass by, but it’s something I enjoy nonetheless. That’s sort of what it feels like to me when I share a picture of my daughter with her jammed front teeth and someone DMs me saying that same thing happened to their son and it will all be okay! That’s what it feels like when I share a photo of the dinner I prepared and someone asks me for the recipe and I get to pass it along. That’s what it feels like when I see you share a photo from a house project and I get to ask you how it’s going and what color paint you used. That’s what it feels like when you share a photo of your kid going to Disney for the first time and I get to experience the joy and say HOW FUN! 

Now, undoubtedly, this is a learned experience. It’s how, over the past several years of using Instagram, I have come to experience the app and connect with other people. (And this isn’t the same for everybody. My husband Harrison, for example, mostly uses Instagram to watch duck hunting videos and see funny memes. I don’t think he would miss any sort of social connection if he deleted the app altogether. He uses and experiences it completely differently than I do.) Do I NEED these social interactions? No. But I do actually miss them. More than I thought they would. 

Social media can get a bad rap for being made up of shallow “relationships” or connections without depth, but just because we don’t know all of the people we’re interacting with deeply, does that make the interaction shallow, fake, or unreal? Don’t these “micro-interactions” - let’s call them that for the sake of this conversation - matter? Do they matter in the physical world? A conversation with the barista at your favorite coffee shop, chatting with a neighbor passing by on the street, seeing an old friend at Target. Maybe none of these people know you intimately the way your family or best friend does, but does that mean those social touch points, those micro-interactions, don’t matter. I think they do…

In the midst of discovering lots of things I do not think are positive, productive, or healthy about Instagram, I’m finding things that I DO think are good. And for me, those micro-interactions are one of them. They don’t replace my relationships with more depth or the physical people in my inner circle that I see on a regular basis, but they do bring joy and sunshine to my life. They broaden my perspective. They open up my world a little bit. ESPECIALLY as a solo-preneur, work-from-home mama who spends most of my days alone. Whether that’s answering emails, editing photos, creating an online course or whether it’s doing the laundry, potty-training a toddler, and cleaning up the house. Those little touch points I have with people throughout the day as they share their lives and I share mine do feel life-giving to me. 

What I DON’T like, however, is how these online interactions have replaced the face-to-face interactions we could otherwise be having. We might have chatted with the barista for a few minutes, but instead we scroll Instagram. We might have said hi to our neighbor passing by, if we had even seen them at all, if we weren’t scrolling Instagram. We might have stopped to talk to an old friend, if we weren’t lost in our phones. 

So, what do you think? Do you use Instagram for social purposes? Or moreso for entertainment, news, commerce, or something else? If you use it for social purposes, do you think the connections you have on the app matter? Are they meaningful to you? 

Now, what to do… During my time off of social media, I have been sort of analyzing and thinking through both the pros & cons of me using this app. In the end, it may come down to as simple of a question as “Do the pros outweigh the cons?” Or maybe, it will just mean changing the way I approach and use the app. Another female, entrepreneur, mama I like to follow named Nancy Ray has previously created a rhythm where she take one day off of social media each week, one week off each month, and one month off each year. Maybe something like that might feel like a healthy flow to to enjoying Instagram, but keeping it in a more appropriate place. 

Or maybe, if I choose to stay off of social media for good, I’ll need to make some other changes in my life to allow room for more of those little micro-interactions with other people throughout my day. Not because I need more friendships, but because I’m realizing that small, casual interactions with other people is good for my soul. They don’t need to be deep, intimate connections per se, but just little experiences with a diversity of people, to broaden my world, and help me look up and out instead of only inwards. 

We will see, friends! What a journey. And wow, if you’ve ready this whole blog - I am SO glad you are here! If you have any food for thought, I’d love for you to share your ideas in the comments below. Or, you can shoot me an email here! 

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