Finding a Hobby Again as a Mom
Losing Yourself
It’s easy to “lose ourselves” in motherhood.
I think it’s natural, in a way. When you bring home your first baby who needs to be fed, and changed, and rocked to sleep quite literally around the clock, you can hardly make plans for the weekend, let alone pick up a new hobby or even find time for your old ones. And if you’re a new mom, or in the newborn stage once again, let me offer you some hope - it will not always be this all-consuming. In the early weeks, it is. There’s no way around it. And really, when I look back at those days, there were a truly sacred, wonderful time. The needs of my baby, though persistent and unrelenting, were simple. I was all that they needed. Dare I say that I miss those sleepless nights and tired days? But, if you’re in the thick of it right now, let me tell you - you WILL have more freedom and time back again. You will get your spark back! Be patient with the process. You are doing wonderful, holy work caring for your little one. The journey to figuring out what else makes you YOU outside of your motherhood is a weird, winding one - but it’s a pretty cool adventure, too.
Ever since becoming a mom 8-ish years ago, I have struggled with finding a hobby I enjoy. With making time for anything outside of momming or working, really. I felt like I couldn’t take time away from my kids unless it was something that was benefitting our family financially. Maybe you can relate? And in my experience, though this is a generalization, I’ve found that us moms seem to struggle with this guilt more than most dads do. In my own life, my husband has had no problem going duck hunting, training for a half marathon with his friends, or going away on bachelor weekends, yet I have felt so uncomfortable asking permission to do anything outside of running my business or taking care of my children. Even with my husband’s support and blessing to do other things, the hardest part has been giving myself the permission to do so.
A Thin Space
I think somewhere between the world’s narcissistic, self-absorbed way of life and the lifestyle of a mom who martyrs everything about herself in the name of motherhood, is a thin space where we can be both joyful, devoted mothers and unique women with our own individual interests. We have to adjust our mindset that self-care is not inherently selfish. When we take care of ourselves, we are able to show up that much more joyfully present for the ones we love most, too. And, when we make time for the things that make us come alive, we’re modeling something beautiful for our children. We’re showing them that God made us each uniquely with different interests & skills, that there is joy in exploring those, and that it’s okay to try something new and not be good at it right away! Really, the life lessons are endless, and our children learn them best by watching what we do.
Finding my Hobby
Giving myself permission to have a hobby I enjoy this year, sort of went hand in hand with giving myself permission to start exercising again. (I wrote more about that on this blog, here.) While building back the habit of exercise after being stuck in a long workout rut, I fell in love with it again. I loved the community aspect of doing something hard with other women, I loved the mental clarity & endorphins I felt afterwards, I loved seeing my body get stronger, and I loved working at new skills in the gym, as arbitrary as they may have been! I mean who cares if I can do a handstand push up or a bar muscle up out in the real world? Nobody. But it’s fun to try to do something new! So while exercise is something that I believe is an important value to make time for in life no matter what, I realized that it was something I really enjoyed doing and would be a worthwhile “hobby,” too!
Something to Look Forward To
I think a crucial piece of finding a hobby that we love is finding a way to weave a specific event into it to look forward to. So while I love going to my local gym several days a week with my friends that I’ve made there, I wanted something more distinct to look forward to from the day to day. That led me to signing up for my first local CrossFit competition. The event was held in-house at our local gym and I signed up on a team with a few of my friends from the gym. The point of me signing up wasn’t to win. The point was to get something on the calendar to look forward, with people I enjoy being with! The point was to challenge myself and push myself outside of my comfort zone. And it really did accomplish all of that! As someone who grew up playing sports my whole childhood, it took my back to those long tournament days in the gym with my teammates, playing back-to-back games and hanging out in between. Those are actually some of my fondest memories. Working hard and playing hard together!
After that competition, it started to click for me. Doing a special fitness event or competition with my friends was the perfect way for me invest into my “hobby” time outside of mom & business life. Not because I’m a professional athlete. Not because I’m a fitness coach or an online fitness influencer. Because it’s fun!!!
Fast forward to the end of 2025, a few friends and I decided to sign up for our first Hyrox race. As I write this, we’re about a month out from the event and it has been so fun to have something specific to train for and something to train for together! Through our time spent training, I’ve gotten stronger and faster than before and I’ve gotten to know the girls I’m racing with better as we’ve logged hours of runs and workouts together.
Hidden Hobbies in the Mundane
For a long time, if anyone asked me about my hobbies or what I liked to do for fun, I felt a twinge of sadness and shame. I couldn’t think of anything to say outside of, I like having uninterrupted conversations and eating hot food with my friends? (Something all of us moms crave, right?!) If anyone asked, I couldn’t think of anything to say because my life felt full to the brim with running my business, raising my kids, and keeping the wreckage of my house to a minimum. Where was there time for a hobby?…
But let me encourage you, if nothing comes to your mind right now when you think about what hobby might interest you, give it a little time. It may be something that has been there all along, hidden in the mundane of your daily life, and you just need to give yourself permission (and space) to enjoy it again.
I’ll share one example from my life that might help unlock one for you - cooking. After becoming a mom, cooking healthy meals had become such a chore to me in the middle of the chaos of my life. It felt hectic and like something to check off my to-do list. But one day I realized, wait, I actually like doing this! I don’t particularly love it at the witching hour with toddlers hanging onto my legs, but prepping food during nap time while the house is quiet, that’s actually kind of fun. Having my husband take the kids outside to play in the evening so I can get really into the dinner recipe, actually, I love that!
Is there something like this in your life? Maybe since having kids you haven’t given yourself the permission, or asked for the space, to enjoy something that has been a passion or gifting all along. Is there a way you could invite that back into your life? Step one is likely giving yourself the permission to do so, but step two might be asking for support from your spouse or a friend to help make it possible! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It’s never as scary, or as difficult, as we make it out to be in our minds. We have to be willing to be vulnerable and say hey, will you help me? Likely there is someone in your life who would love to say, YES!
Cheering for You
We’re all at different places in our mothering journeys. Hey, I’m 8 years in and I’m just now learning how to have a hobby (and unlearning how to let go of addiction to productivity.) I don’t know where you’re at on yours, but if nothing else, I hope you are encouraged that your individual interests (outside of your children and your work) are worth pursuing! They are part of how God made you YOU and investing time into them will not steal from your motherhood or work, it will likely help you show up even brighter and better in those spaces.
Here’s to hobbies! Here’s to fun!
Cheering for you, Suzy