Honest Fears & Hopes - Pregnant with Baby #5
If I’m honest, finding out we were pregnant with our 5th baby took my husband and I back a bit. Even while believing children are a blessing from our Heavenly Father, the fearful what-ifs still instantly filled our mind:
What if we can’t give our kids everything they need?
What if we can’t make it financially?
What if it changes our family dynamic?
What if my body never “bounces back”?
What if it’s all just too much to handle?
And the list went on. But through prayer and honest tears and hopeful conversations with the people we love, we found so much encouragement in flipping those what-ifs on their head:
What if we lived out of a place of trust instead of a place of scarcity? What if we traded the idea of what our kids “need” that has been formed by societal expectations with something much greater? What if a bigger family doesn’t actually mean less to go around?
What if God always equips us for what He’s called us to? What if we can learn to adapt our finances to our new family structure? What if money isn’t quite so important as we sometimes make it to be?
What if one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to our children is each other? What if growing up with lifelong best friends is wonderful? What if our kids are more adaptable and capable than we think?
What if there is so much more to life than what my body looks like? What if pregnancy is actually a season of empowerment & strength? What if I surrendered my vanity & body image to God?
What if we leaned on our community of family & friends when we needed to? What if we were humble enough to ask for help? What is God uses what is hard to refine us and draw us closer to Him?
Perspective changes everything. Attitude shapes how we see all of life. What we truly believe deep down in our souls guides our entire experience of our circumstances.
Romans chapter 8 in The Bible speaks to a life lived by the Spirit & the hope through which we can view our present fears. I recommend reading if you are in need of some encouragement. In its context, it is talking about far greater suffering (not that this pregnancy or baby is meant to be conflated with that), but I think the encouragement applies.
Verse 28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Verses 37-39 promise us this, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
So though we cannot see the future and we are not promised ease or or financial security or health or children that get along or ANY sort of particular circumstance, in Christ we are promised that nothing can separate us from the love of God and that He works for the good of those who love Him. And that is enough for me today.
We are so unbelievably thankful and absolutely undeserving of this gift of life that I have the privilege of carrying in my womb. Praise God for this gift. We trust that He will give us everything we need to live faithfully unto Him along the way of pregnancy, parenting, and beyond. Thank you, Jesus!